Living With the Aftermath
by dragonflybeach
Summary: After Dean's deal and death by Hellhounds, a drunk and broken Sam confronts Miss Newman. (The conclusion of the Miss Newman Verse)


A/N - the is the final entry in the Miss Newman verse. You'll probably want to read the others first (Whatever I Have To Do, Necessity, Could've Been Worse, The Truth Behind the Lies) but this should make relative sense without. As with all the stories in this verse, warnings for mentions of a dub-con relationship between a 15 year old boy and his teacher, but Necessity is the only one with any details. It can be skipped if that would be triggering to you.

* * *

The woman paused as she stepped through the front door, sniffing the air.

Dammit.

Sam's long arms reached around the door, pulling her inside, one hand clapped over her mouth, as he kicked the door shut.

She tried to scream, tried to struggle against him, but his big hand tightened down, covering both her nose and mouth, cutting off her air. He lifted her up, back against his chest, and whispered in her ear.

"Don't make a fucking sound or you'll be dead before you hit the floor."

She nodded frantically, and he carried her into the kitchen. He flung her down onto a chair and turned on the light.

"Don't move." He growled, standing practically against her legs.

"Take my purse!" She shoved the bag at him. "Take whatever you want! Just don't kill me!"

"I don't want a fucking thing from you." He said.

She paled further. "D-did you c-come to ... oh, God ... no, please!"

He snorted. "You think I'm willing to risk whatever you may have picked up from all the little boys you've molested over the years?"

"Oh god," She breathed, her eyes widening impossibly. "Were you one of my students?"

"No," he shook his head. "Not me. My brother. Dean. My name is Sam."

Her shoulders slumped and her eyes glistened. "I tried to track him after you guys left Ohio. I looked for three years but he was never re-enrolled in any school that I could find. Did he drop out?"

"Eventually." He conceded.

"Wh-where is he now?" She asked. "Why are you here?"

"He's dead." Sam snapped. "He died to save my life. He died, knowing that he was going to die, knowing he was going to Hell, and he did it anyway. You know why?"

He waited until she shook her head, one tear dripping down her cheek.

"He did it because people like you made him think his life didn't matter! That he was worthless! You abused him and used him up for what you could get from him and broke him inside! You made him feel like his life didn't matter! But it did! He was the best brother ever and now he's gone!"

"No!" she cried, shaking her head again. "It-it wasn't like that! Dean loved you! He loved you and he wanted to take care of you! I helped him do that! I gave him money, I bought you food ... "

"That's what you tell yourself?" Sam sneered. "You forced an underage boy to have sex with you and then gave him money, and you call it helping?"

"I did help him!" She pleaded. "I didn't force him! Yes, we had a relationship, but I didn't force him! I cared about him! If you hadn't moved away, I would have stayed with him, and when he was eighteen, I was going to ask him and you to move in with me!"

"Yeah, you cared so much about him." Sam rolled his eyes. "We left in February and you were fucking another underage boy by March."

"It was because I missed Dean so much!" She said. "I found someone who reminded me of him in some ways. But it wasn't the same! If Dean had come back, if I could have found him, I would have ended it with the other guy."

"You're really pathetic, you know it?" He gestured at her, causing her to flinch back in anticipation of the blow that didn't come. "Have you really convinced yourself that you cared about every one of those kids you molested? And yes, you molested Dean! You threatened him with jail to make him sleep with you! He didn't want to and you knew it, but you didn't care! I knew he didn't want to go to your house even though I didn't know what was going on, and I was only eleven years old! You didn't care, because you were fucking the boy all your students wanted, and it made you think you were better than all those bitches who wouldn't be friends with you when you were a teenager!"

"No!" she was openly sobbing now. "You're making it sound like I raped him ... "

"You did!" He thundered.

"No!" She cried again. "I didn't hurt him! I loved him and I didn't hurt him! He enjoyed being with me! And I was helping him take care of you! I gave him money for you and bought you and him food!"

"He came home afterward and cried in the shower and scrubbed himself until his skin bled." Sam said coldly. "All that food you bought, he didn't eat a whole lot of it because he would start thinking about what he had to do to get it and he would throw up. He was drinking and started smoking pot because you made him fuck for money. You made him a prostitute when he was fifteen years old and you didn't care what it did to him, because you were getting what you wanted. You made him think that was all he was worth, so he ended up selling his body to other women and sucking truck drivers off for money."

"No! You're lying!" She grabbed one of Sam's hands in both of hers. "We were together almost five months! He was so sweet! He was good to me! He didn't act like some of the others! He always smiled at me! He always came when I called and did whatever I asked him to! He told me I was beautiful! I wanted to have his baby, because he would have been such a great dad! He talked about you all the time, like he was your dad instead of your brother! I couldn't while he was still in school, because I would have lost my teaching license. I even tried, when he told me that you were leaving, the last time we were together. I didn't take my pills because I didn't care if I lost my license by that point. I managed to get him to make love to me once without a condom but it didn't happen. That's why I tried so hard to find him! I thought we could make it work when he was older! He's the only one I ever thought I could stay with forever!"

Sam snorted, closed his eyes and shook his head before he looked at her again. "You fucked these other boys no matter what, knowing they didn't want you and there was no future in it, because of what you were getting out of it. You wanted Dean so bad that you didn't care how much you were hurting him, and you were willing to throw away your future to hold onto him even though he didn't want you."

"I was helping him take care of you!" Anger was slowly replacing the fear. "What was I supposed to do, let the two of you go hungry when I knew you didn't have food?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe you could have given us some food?" Sam threw his hands wide. "Directed us to the local food bank, called Child Protective Services, helped us get away from our dad? I'm sure there's a list of things teachers can do when their students are in desperate situations, and I'm pretty sure "Make them fuck you for money and groceries" isn't on the list!"

Sam stood over her with folded arms, watching her cry.

Finally, she swiped her hands across her face and looked up at him. "Why are you here, Sam? Did you come to hurt me because you think I hurt Dean? Look, you've obviously been drinking, and you should really ... "

"I could kill you. Right here, right now." He said, opening his jacket to show her the gun tucked inside. He then turned to show her the gun in the back of his waistband, and pulled up his pants leg to show her the knife strapped to his boot. "I could kill you, but that would be letting you off easy. You don't deserve to die. You deserve to have to live with what you've done." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a picture, which he pinned to the front of her refrigerator with a magnet. "You deserve to have to look at that smiling little boy every day, and know that you broke him, that you made him feel dirty and ashamed. To know that when my dad made him feel that the only thing he was good for was taking care of me, you reinforced it when you put him in the position of having to sell his body to take care of me. You told him what a good brother he was, that he took care of me the way he did. You helped kill him. You and everyone who hurt him and made him feel worthless." Sam's voice cracked on the last word, and the first tear spilled over from his eye. He shoved it away angrily. "He's dead because of you and my dad and he didn't deserve it. He deserved to have a good life. He shouldn't have had to take care of me. He was only a kid and no one was taking care of him! Now he's gone and I couldn't save him and I can't get him back, and if I have to live with it, so should you!" The tears flowed steadily now. He pointed at the picture. "You leave that picture there, and you look at it, and you remember what you did to him, because if you take it down, I will come back and kill you. I'll make sure you suffer as long as possible before you die. And I'll leave the cops a list of names."

He walked out, leaving her sobbing in the straight backed chair.

Three weeks later, Ruby walked into Sam's motel room, dropped a newspaper on his bed, said "I guess you made your point." and left.

The paper was the front page of the local section of an Ohio paper. The headline read "Community Rocked by Suicide of Popular Teacher".

He didn't even bother to read the article.

A month ago, he wanted to see Adrienne Newman burning in Hell. Now, he actually hoped she wasn't there.

Because if she was, she might find Dean. And if Sam couldn't be with Dean, she shouldn't either.


End file.
